Aku berasa sungguh dahaga lalu berjalan ke arah dapur. Hatiku bimbang akan peperiksaan yang sudah hampir. Fikiranku mula berfikir perkara2 yang negatif. Aku takut. Takut gagal di dalam peperiksaan yang akan menjangkakan kehidupanku nanti. Aku sudah belajar dgn sesungguhnya. Aku inginkan distinction utk peperiksaan yang bakal ku duduki selang beberapa hari lagi. Rakan-rakan sedarjahku yang lain hanya buat tidak endah sahaja walaupun sedar akan peperiksaan itu. Apa akan terjadi jika aku gagal? Apa harus ku lakukan? Masa tidak boleh diputarkan lagi. Aku sedar aku tidak begitu fasih berbahasa Melayu. Aku lebih senang berbual dalam bahasa Inggeris. Kotak mindaku sering berkecamuk. Perkataan apakah yang harus ku pelajari lagi? Peribahasa sungguh sukar bagiku. Aku telah cuba sedaya-upaya untuk menghafal setiap perkataan. Tetapi, ia hanya akan menrunsingkan sahaja. Apa lagi harus ku buat?
HAHA! its so0o weird talking in malay. but thats wat im doing. im talkin malay all the tyme. and i mean, bahasa BAKU. as in.. not ape but apa. its different ok! and its a total nightmare for me. hahaha! i guess im going insane. i've been into malay so much till i forget bout the mathematics formula: (- - = +) yeah. haha. its so fcking easy. and yet i forget. oh dear.. tis week, i've been doing malay paper 1&2 for FIVE periods straight. woohoo. imagine that. and the shocking part is.. i've been doing ALL the paper very consistently. keke. i didnt let anyone bother me when im practising.. heahahaha.
K uh. till here then. i'll be back soon. Aku cinta padamu, wahai rakan-rakanku..
Haha!! =)
Eh. pls leave some comments on my bahasa melayu ok?(Hoping to hear good comments, though. haha!!)
Yang benar,
[acahsiaw]
Thursday, May 26, 2005 @ 7:10 PM
Monday, May 23, 2005 @ 10:24 PM
I wonder......
Why? its lyke a pattern going on. one by one. each of my fren who's attached. they broke off with their partners. some reached up to a year plus plus. some only a month. but why? wats the reason? hmm.. my closest boy friend. as in.. FRIEND kay? dun get the wrong idea. haha. erm. so.. his case's the same. he asked for it. when i ask why? answer is: "die mcm sial. prangai makin hari makin tak senonoh siak. i ckp satu, die peh reply byk2. beh nak kata i kong2 die. padahal padahal sei. ah. GI MAMPOS uh dgn die." ouh... but. the fact is. he's the one who is soo crazy in love with her last tyme. now, duh~.. haha. i duno larh. if i were to add this guy here, it will total up to 7 friends whom i've consoled. do i have the qualification to be a consoler? ah? wats a consoler? haha. am i nuts? oh precisely!
Okay okay. stop bout the break-up thingy. just hope me and cyg wont b lyke that. oh yes! talking bout that, i just realised its left with another 8 days for our 8th month. its so great! im very happy with it. can't deny time really fly.
Another 7days to my major exam. gawd!! i mean. malay O levels. yes. im takin O for malay language. isn't that scary? people wuld have been happy with the one month hols but not me. as my batch got no mid yr exams, so they've replaced with TWO prelims. the first one starts on the first day when school reopens. thats on 27th. ish. buck up acah! stop fidgeting around. i guess my one whole month's schedule is packed with lessons and my own self study. i culd rest only for two weeks when im in Brunei for holiday. grr! i hate this kinda period. sucks big tyme. but. its for my future. ahaha. wish me luck for my malay paper kay? im aiming for an A1. or the least is an A2. Insyallah! so i culd focus on my other subjects with the happy grade in mind.. `teehee.
Ouh yarh. bout the prezzie i bought for my dearest. its a funny moment. haha. we were sitting
under a void deck doing nutin. just talking nonsense. then i suddenly open my bag and took out this plastic bag. he was shocked. shuld look at his face. haha! then i said, "nah.. happy belated birthday!" he looked at me and said, "ah? pe nie? bile u bli? asal u bli? katne u bli?" hahas. he tried it out. and it fits! yey! im happy. cos i need not go town again to change to another size. hehehe. just now meet him he wore it. nice sia! im so jealous. lolss. his mum lurve it. and thanked me for that. only that she said the price is too expensive. and adviced me not to buy such expensive things for him anymore. but i said,"ala.. ni tanda sayang pe." and she laughed. keke! ;-)
Ok then. i'll update next tyme aites. maybe after my exam. keke. Be right back for more stupid stories okie.. Stay tuned! =)
Yang terhormat(hahaha),
[[*acahsiaw*]]
Why? its lyke a pattern going on. one by one. each of my fren who's attached. they broke off with their partners. some reached up to a year plus plus. some only a month. but why? wats the reason? hmm.. my closest boy friend. as in.. FRIEND kay? dun get the wrong idea. haha. erm. so.. his case's the same. he asked for it. when i ask why? answer is: "die mcm sial. prangai makin hari makin tak senonoh siak. i ckp satu, die peh reply byk2. beh nak kata i kong2 die. padahal padahal sei. ah. GI MAMPOS uh dgn die." ouh... but. the fact is. he's the one who is soo crazy in love with her last tyme. now, duh~.. haha. i duno larh. if i were to add this guy here, it will total up to 7 friends whom i've consoled. do i have the qualification to be a consoler? ah? wats a consoler? haha. am i nuts? oh precisely!
Okay okay. stop bout the break-up thingy. just hope me and cyg wont b lyke that. oh yes! talking bout that, i just realised its left with another 8 days for our 8th month. its so great! im very happy with it. can't deny time really fly.
Another 7days to my major exam. gawd!! i mean. malay O levels. yes. im takin O for malay language. isn't that scary? people wuld have been happy with the one month hols but not me. as my batch got no mid yr exams, so they've replaced with TWO prelims. the first one starts on the first day when school reopens. thats on 27th. ish. buck up acah! stop fidgeting around. i guess my one whole month's schedule is packed with lessons and my own self study. i culd rest only for two weeks when im in Brunei for holiday. grr! i hate this kinda period. sucks big tyme. but. its for my future. ahaha. wish me luck for my malay paper kay? im aiming for an A1. or the least is an A2. Insyallah! so i culd focus on my other subjects with the happy grade in mind.. `teehee.
Ouh yarh. bout the prezzie i bought for my dearest. its a funny moment. haha. we were sitting
under a void deck doing nutin. just talking nonsense. then i suddenly open my bag and took out this plastic bag. he was shocked. shuld look at his face. haha! then i said, "nah.. happy belated birthday!" he looked at me and said, "ah? pe nie? bile u bli? asal u bli? katne u bli?" hahas. he tried it out. and it fits! yey! im happy. cos i need not go town again to change to another size. hehehe. just now meet him he wore it. nice sia! im so jealous. lolss. his mum lurve it. and thanked me for that. only that she said the price is too expensive. and adviced me not to buy such expensive things for him anymore. but i said,"ala.. ni tanda sayang pe." and she laughed. keke! ;-)
Ok then. i'll update next tyme aites. maybe after my exam. keke. Be right back for more stupid stories okie.. Stay tuned! =)
Yang terhormat(hahaha),
[[*acahsiaw*]]
Thursday, May 19, 2005 @ 4:25 PM
Okok.... I'll update for the sake of dearest passeRby, farna, man and etc. hahas. i've been quite a busy women nowadays. biase lah. baru ukak business. =p.. part nie borin. kk. so.. im fine. thank you. lolss!
Ouh yah. yesterday im very proud of myself. i managed to b independent for the FIRST TIME. lyke i say, im usually pampered larhs. i lurve to b pampered. cos its lyke im the queen and everybody else's my servants. hahahaks. cruel me! so yesterday.. i got to b released early. i went home at 12:15pm. actually my plan was to go home during recess tyme. but this toopid OM just refused to let me go. hahaks. but he's great uh. i beg him to released me as early as possible. oh.. u people must be wandering why the heck i wana go home early. thats because, i've got dental appointment to attend at 4pm. hehe. and i desperately wana b released at 10.45am. hahak. unreasonable. so.. at 12:15, i went out of school. i rested for sometime at home before going out again 4 my appt. i went out at 2:30 as im goin TOWN. eh.. ALONE. haha. so i took 190 all the way there. stopped in front of HMV and went in. went into flash&splash. looked around and saw this beautiful tshirt. haha. cost about 55 bucks only. ok lah. cheaper than the other one which costs 59bucks. haha. bigg difference lehx. so bought that 55bucks tshirt. ouh yah. that's for dearest cyg for his bdae. actually its belated lah. keke. when i told bestie and my fren bout the cost of cyg's bdae prezzie, they were lyke, "kau gile pe siak.. mahal sei. kalu aku. takya suda." hahahak. chis! =) So.. after buying that, went to the nearest MRT station. Somerset. took the train to CT hall first b4 changing to Outram park. dropped there and walked briskly to the dental centre. i tot im oready late. so i walked lyke sum cartoons on the street. haha. after that, queued for my number and bla3.. after the appt, i went home straight as thats wat cyg was requesting. =) then dropped by lot1 to buy food for myself. went library next to search for my F&N recipes. finally, took LRT home.
Tadaaa!! independent woman. hahaks.. kk enuff of my independent-ing. tonite.. yess! meeting cyg for study. gonna surprise him with the shirt. he actually dun know i bought that for him. he dun even knoe i went town alone yesterday. hahaha. Saturday cant meet him for some reasons. that goes for next saturday too. walaueh. but i dun mind uh. cos we got to meet every tues and thurs for study. hehe!
Anyhoos, i've got to go. im in school actually. hahaks. doing my F&N coursework. see how hardworkin i am. better respect me hor. buahahahs! okie then. take care darlings.. I love you people.. i'll update when i tink im free kay? Mwah~ =) =)
[acahsiaw]
Ouh yah. yesterday im very proud of myself. i managed to b independent for the FIRST TIME. lyke i say, im usually pampered larhs. i lurve to b pampered. cos its lyke im the queen and everybody else's my servants. hahahaks. cruel me! so yesterday.. i got to b released early. i went home at 12:15pm. actually my plan was to go home during recess tyme. but this toopid OM just refused to let me go. hahaks. but he's great uh. i beg him to released me as early as possible. oh.. u people must be wandering why the heck i wana go home early. thats because, i've got dental appointment to attend at 4pm. hehe. and i desperately wana b released at 10.45am. hahak. unreasonable. so.. at 12:15, i went out of school. i rested for sometime at home before going out again 4 my appt. i went out at 2:30 as im goin TOWN. eh.. ALONE. haha. so i took 190 all the way there. stopped in front of HMV and went in. went into flash&splash. looked around and saw this beautiful tshirt. haha. cost about 55 bucks only. ok lah. cheaper than the other one which costs 59bucks. haha. bigg difference lehx. so bought that 55bucks tshirt. ouh yah. that's for dearest cyg for his bdae. actually its belated lah. keke. when i told bestie and my fren bout the cost of cyg's bdae prezzie, they were lyke, "kau gile pe siak.. mahal sei. kalu aku. takya suda." hahahak. chis! =) So.. after buying that, went to the nearest MRT station. Somerset. took the train to CT hall first b4 changing to Outram park. dropped there and walked briskly to the dental centre. i tot im oready late. so i walked lyke sum cartoons on the street. haha. after that, queued for my number and bla3.. after the appt, i went home straight as thats wat cyg was requesting. =) then dropped by lot1 to buy food for myself. went library next to search for my F&N recipes. finally, took LRT home.
Tadaaa!! independent woman. hahaks.. kk enuff of my independent-ing. tonite.. yess! meeting cyg for study. gonna surprise him with the shirt. he actually dun know i bought that for him. he dun even knoe i went town alone yesterday. hahaha. Saturday cant meet him for some reasons. that goes for next saturday too. walaueh. but i dun mind uh. cos we got to meet every tues and thurs for study. hehe!
Anyhoos, i've got to go. im in school actually. hahaks. doing my F&N coursework. see how hardworkin i am. better respect me hor. buahahahs! okie then. take care darlings.. I love you people.. i'll update when i tink im free kay? Mwah~ =) =)
[acahsiaw]
Friday, May 13, 2005 @ 3:22 PM
Today was lyke HELL for me sia.. serious uh. My brain's so fucking heavy as if there's tumor inside. my mind's full.. im so0o0o0o fucked up.. and im pissed too. since in school siak. although there's fun at certain times, but most of the tyme is just BOREDOM. thats not the main reason of why im feeling down and pissed today. maybe im too stressed up studying? or... whatever larhss... u imagine this irritating feeling. Arghhh!!!
I was already in fucking no mood in school. then when i got home, i really thought things would be much much better as there's cyg to rely on. but it turned out the other way round. i looked at my phone and there's two msges. i opened and this cyg tokin nonsense. i duno wat thefuck/hell he's feeling. i mean... im already sooo damn blardy fuckingly in no mood and there u are tokin nonsense... im certainly NOT blaming him for all my no mood-ness lar. but cant u see he's adding to it? walaueh.. lyke wan to explode sial this brain.
Yesterday went study also lyke that.. i was lyke in total no mood sia. everyone got a good scolding frm me whenever they disturb me. or better say, IRRITATES me.. I think my no mood-ness is due to my form teacher lah.. delay and delay. i wana go home.. and he's so SLOW. nabeh.. My school just WON'T release us the exact tyme as what THE TIMETABLE states. lyke shit rite? better still dun put the time. correct?? yala i understand they're keeping us for some reasons. but look larhhhs. its not as if they made us stay for about 15mins or so. sometimes, when things got fuckingly shitty, they will only release us one hour later... its lyke..... nabeh siakk.
Arghh!! and then this cyg buat prangai.. suddenly no mood. walaueh. can die sia me. he said sorry. but hey... ur adding to my burden of carrying this fuckin head! and u think a sorry will cure?? oh yah... and u off-ed ur phone for watever reason?! I HURT YOU isit?? so.. learn a lesson larhs. Dun irritate me wif all ur ungkit-ing bout stuffs. its a promise u've done ok... keep that in ur little headd uh.... pleaseeee larhs... arghh! im going insane. i know. i know im obviously NOT a gd gf to u. fucked up with me?go and find another better gurl lahh... eh... NO!!!!!!! don't. im so fuckin hot-tempered. and i hate myself.. i can be lyke a crazy woman on the streets when im pissed off. everyone around me will get it. pls go away lahhh stupid attitude!!!!
Fucked up,
[acahsiaw]
I was already in fucking no mood in school. then when i got home, i really thought things would be much much better as there's cyg to rely on. but it turned out the other way round. i looked at my phone and there's two msges. i opened and this cyg tokin nonsense. i duno wat the
Yesterday went study also lyke that.. i was lyke in total no mood sia. everyone got a good scolding frm me whenever they disturb me. or better say, IRRITATES me.. I think my no mood-ness is due to my form teacher lah.. delay and delay. i wana go home.. and he's so SLOW. nabeh.. My school just WON'T release us the exact tyme as what THE TIMETABLE states. lyke shit rite? better still dun put the time. correct?? yala i understand they're keeping us for some reasons. but look larhhhs. its not as if they made us stay for about 15mins or so. sometimes, when things got fuckingly shitty, they will only release us one hour later... its lyke..... nabeh siakk.
Arghh!! and then this cyg buat prangai.. suddenly no mood. walaueh. can die sia me. he said sorry. but hey... ur adding to my burden of carrying this fuckin head! and u think a sorry will cure?? oh yah... and u off-ed ur phone for watever reason?! I HURT YOU isit?? so.. learn a lesson larhs. Dun irritate me wif all ur ungkit-ing bout stuffs. its a promise u've done ok... keep that in ur little headd uh.... pleaseeee larhs... arghh! im going insane. i know. i know im obviously NOT a gd gf to u. fucked up with me?
Fucked up,
[acahsiaw]
Wednesday, May 11, 2005 @ 6:40 PM
Cyg's birthday is lyke SIX more days to go. and retarded me haven yet think of what i should buy for him.. last saturday's trip to town, im actually survey-ing things. hahaks! shh! i saw this quiksilver tshirt that cost a bomb. $59.90. but i've fallen in lurve with it... obviously uh, its for guys. thought of buying it.. but........
(At Heeren's flash&splash)
Me: Eh.. lawa sei nie. brown some more. ur fav color kan?
Cyg: Yerps. conferm mahal nye. (Look at the price tag)
Me: Mak ai.. mahalnye. asal uh?
Cyg: Sal der byk design pe.. kalu plain nye murah. $30+ leh dpt.
Me: oh eh? beh u prefer plain ke camni nye?
Cyg: i bih uker plain.. yg kes satu word je kat tgh2.
Me: pe uh u nie. design kan lawa.
Cyg: tau la. but kan mahal sayang..
Me: (Look at the size) eh ni size M. u muat?
Cyg: i kai L..
Me: *Smiles*
Hmms.. so how? he prefer PLAIN ones. but i lyke that one. ishk! thought of just buy it for him. tapi.. im just scared he wont use it as frequent. then its so sad rite.. hmph! confused.. Hey. whats the name of the disease that the patient wont be able to make decisions? Ouhs.. hypertension isit? i duno la.. Am i lyke suffering frm that? i just CAN'T make decisions. i'll have to rely on people. hahas.. cacat me. Well....
(At Heeren's Annex)
Me: uuu.. kalu i blikan baju tadi tu u uker?
Cyg: (Looks at me) Errm. asal?
Me: I ask je.. u uker tak? btol2 eh..
Cyg: Uker uh. u blikan pape i uker. asal u nak blikan pe? takmo. dun waste money k.
Me: No. i never say nak blikan.. hehehe. *winks*
after all that, i still CAN'T make decisions. asked bestie to follow me go town on friday. BUT. unfortunately.. cyg doesnt allow! isk. i DUN WAN to tell him im goin town to buy him that shirt. grr!.. aygg.. plssss. =) nvm. i guess i just go. only 4 a while dear. hope he allow... *prays hard*
eh.. im now suffering frm dehydration. it can cause death rite? yups?? oh.. so i've got to go. need to have some water. `teehee. take care darlingss. I LOVE YOU...... Mwahs!!
Retarded me,
[acahsiaw]
(At Heeren's flash&splash)
Me: Eh.. lawa sei nie. brown some more. ur fav color kan?
Cyg: Yerps. conferm mahal nye. (Look at the price tag)
Me: Mak ai.. mahalnye. asal uh?
Cyg: Sal der byk design pe.. kalu plain nye murah. $30+ leh dpt.
Me: oh eh? beh u prefer plain ke camni nye?
Cyg: i bih uker plain.. yg kes satu word je kat tgh2.
Me: pe uh u nie. design kan lawa.
Cyg: tau la. but kan mahal sayang..
Me: (Look at the size) eh ni size M. u muat?
Cyg: i kai L..
Me: *Smiles*
Hmms.. so how? he prefer PLAIN ones. but i lyke that one. ishk! thought of just buy it for him. tapi.. im just scared he wont use it as frequent. then its so sad rite.. hmph! confused.. Hey. whats the name of the disease that the patient wont be able to make decisions? Ouhs.. hypertension isit? i duno la.. Am i lyke suffering frm that? i just CAN'T make decisions. i'll have to rely on people. hahas.. cacat me. Well....
(At Heeren's Annex)
Me: uuu.. kalu i blikan baju tadi tu u uker?
Cyg: (Looks at me) Errm. asal?
Me: I ask je.. u uker tak? btol2 eh..
Cyg: Uker uh. u blikan pape i uker. asal u nak blikan pe? takmo. dun waste money k.
Me: No. i never say nak blikan.. hehehe. *winks*
after all that, i still CAN'T make decisions. asked bestie to follow me go town on friday. BUT. unfortunately.. cyg doesnt allow! isk. i DUN WAN to tell him im goin town to buy him that shirt. grr!.. aygg.. plssss. =) nvm. i guess i just go. only 4 a while dear. hope he allow... *prays hard*
eh.. im now suffering frm dehydration. it can cause death rite? yups?? oh.. so i've got to go. need to have some water. `teehee. take care darlingss. I LOVE YOU...... Mwahs!!
Retarded me,
[acahsiaw]
Saturday, May 07, 2005 @ 11:07 PM
Went town with dearest cayang just now. had funn.. so so much. Thanx dear for carrying that PINK, FLOWERY plastic bag for me. eh. im NOT cruel. HE'S the one who wana carry. oh my! what a gentleman. hahaks! =)
Btw, i still miss my little hamster. i hate going out. cos i'll have to pass his little grave. haiz!!
Bye people.. Need to get songs into cyg's NEW MP3.. He told me we're sharing.
Yerps!
Lurve u darling! Buahahass. =p
Oh yess.. im NUTS today. soo.. i'll leave you people with MY two dream car okie. Enjoy~
- I simply lurveee this. Volkswagen beetle. reminds me of a mushroom! hahaks. cute uh... very very. =)
- Oh this!.. My all-tyme favourite. Can someone fulfill my wish to have this car? `teehee..
Tadaaaa~ done! =) =)
[acahsiaw]
Btw, i still miss my little hamster. i hate going out. cos i'll have to pass his little grave. haiz!!
Bye people.. Need to get songs into cyg's NEW MP3.. He told me we're sharing.
Yerps!
Lurve u darling! Buahahass. =p
Oh yess.. im NUTS today. soo.. i'll leave you people with MY two dream car okie. Enjoy~
- I simply lurveee this. Volkswagen beetle. reminds me of a mushroom! hahaks. cute uh... very very. =)
- Oh this!.. My all-tyme favourite. Can someone fulfill my wish to have this car? `teehee..
Tadaaaa~ done! =) =)
[acahsiaw]
Thursday, May 05, 2005 @ 11:36 AM
[[ July 2004 - May 2005 ]]
25th March 2005,
The day i brought u to a vet for a check up on what happened to ur hind leg. Doc said ur already old and doesnt have that much time to live. Haiz. I spent my time going there, and spent another $45 for ur medicine. with those medicine, i thought u culd live awhile longer. Mid-april, ur condition turns bad. i pity u but there's nothing i culd do. im happy enuff cause ur not limping. ur still the active, cute hamster i knoe since the day i took u frm my fren. although ur sick, u forced urself to run around and lead a good life. ur food, u finished it in 3 days. ur drink, every nyte u took a sip of it. im happy. very happy indeed. i thought ur becoming healthier as days past. but i got it wrong. strictly wrong........
3rd May 2005,
Ur condition got terribly worst. u started to limp around. u wasnt eating the food i supply. i saw u sleeping all day. u got up to clean urself and have a lil food only. and u went back to sleep. i was afraid... afraid to lose you. i dun wan that to happen. i cant imagine it. i pray hard 4 u to live longer. i knoe. i knoe ur suffering. i was being selfish. yes. i am being selfish. i never tot of ur condition. i wana u to be with me always. forever. that nyte, b4 i lay myself onto my bed, i peeped into ur little home. ur sleeping. as usual. i knocked softly and u woke up. i smiled to myself painfully. ur face is obviously sick. its a pity. haiz. i laid down on my bed. thoughts about u lingered through my mind. this stupid mind of mine kept on thinking wat will happen to me if ur dead. if u left me.. i tried hard to clear those thoughts but i just cant. i tossed and turned, forcing myself to get to sleep. but to no avail. suddenly tears started rolling down my cheeks. i was thinkin of u. i felt different. i got up, switched on the lights and took a look at u again. ur eating.. and then u went to sleep. i spent quite awhile looking at the way u sleep. u seemed to knoe i was watching. u got up and faced me. then u started running ard as if to show that ur still playful. but ur limping in a terrible manner. haiz.. i went back to my bed. i slept awhile later after tired of crying and nonsense-thinking. ='(
4th May 2005,
I went school as usual. but thoughts of u still lingers in my mind. i cant concentrate. i went home with zaidah, the one who passed u to me. at the busstop, she suddenly asked me whether ur doing fine. i forced myself an 'ok' to her. although i knew i was lying. i have to. i wana cure my own heart. on my way home, i felt very different. i feel lyke something's gonna happen later. i reached home ard 2pm. i went in and took a look at u. u were lying down in a particular way. i tot ur sleeping. so i ignored. while changing, i looked again.. my heart was pierced when i got to knoe ur not breathing anymore. ur unconscious. haiz.. i treid my very best to hold on to the tears that was about to fall. i told mum about it. she said my younger sis saw u running about at ard 1pm.. while using the computer, i admit i did cry abit. i cant take it. i wished and hoped wat i saw wasnt real. i hoped it's just an imagination. ard 4+, i peeped again and saw u lying in that way. i knocked softly, u didnt get up. i knocked harder, u stay still. i knoe. i knoe ur no longer alive.. i was so sad. mum asked me to bury u. i opened up ur little cage and looked at u. the way u lie down was so pitiful. u lay on ur left and ur two right legs dangling. ur eyes's closed in a painful manner. haiz.. i cant resist but cried when i was about to carry u onto the little handkerchief on my hand. mum helped with that.. then i wraped u up gently. haiz. i followed dad to a place behind my house. dad did all the holes and i put u in there. that was the worst sight. i cried, weeped, sobbed all along. i cant bear to see u far away frm me. i cant.... =( when i got home, i was still crying. i cleared up everything with a heavy heart. i always thought ur somewhere in my room, as per normal. i cant accept the fact that ur gone, out of my lyfe. forever and ever.. dad consoled me and told me u wont come back... WON'T. haaaaizzzz! ='(
5th May 2005,
Today, i woke up and totally forgot that ur gone. i looked into ur little house and its empty. there's no more hamster running around. there's no more sounds of u bitting the metal cage, there's no one whom i culd play with. and there's no more cimano in my life.. i am so lonely. why must u leave me? why?? b4 u left, its a habit for me too look at u every nyte w/o fail. now, there's no one i culd looked at. haiz. happiness is nothing to me. sorrow is all around me. i cant described nor culd i expressed how im feeling currently. anyway. im rather relieved because i managed to bath u for the last tyme last monday. i used my favourite soap for u. haizz.. and u died with that smell... haaaiz! pls come back. i need u.
I've got to go. Im very heartbroken.. its so somber. bye people. I'll be back when i've found happiness in myself. take care.. ='(
Afiq siaw: Sori 4 ignoring u in msn yesterday.. im not in the mood. so sorry k.
Dee*ana: Sori gurl 4 not letting u have the chance to ask me qns yesterday. i was really in a sad mode. very sad indeed. hope u understand. *hugs*
And to those whom i ignored in msn yesterday, im so sori. u shuld already know what happened.. haiz.. ='(
In despair,
[acahsiaw]
Sunday, May 01, 2005 @ 5:32 PM
Happy 7 months 'anniversary' darling!!
I've been the happiest woman/girl/kid/aunty to have u by my side. Ur just EVERYTHING to me.. Throughout the 7mths we've been together, i managed to get sumtink into MY head/brain. that is.. to realise the true meaning of relationship and kesetiaan. i changed for the sake of u. ask fezah. rite bestie? =p im NOT who i used to be. although we may be quarrelling lyke EVERYDAY, i still love u ok? as what our favourite song quotes, 'My love for you will never end..' yups. thats true baby. I hope and wished this 7 months to last till eternity. till the day we're meant to be separated. the day of our deaths. its lovely to have someone lyke u. the way u talk, the way u console me when im in no mood and the way u care for me. its heaven. i've never regret accepting u as myhusband. ops! i mean, bf. hehe! I love u so0o much my dearest Md. Elfiean.. and it will never end. Promise! =)
Kaulah segalanya..
Yang menyinar hidupku, kasih.
Hanya satu yang..
Yang ku cintai.
Well... stop those mushy2 stuffs. obviously, im happy. tomoro no skool huh? to me its a bore. why? because... its lyke, i've been absent for school for lotsa days. since friday. borin lar. school is a place for me to gain knowledge, to study and most IMPORTANT of all, a place for me to CRAP. i lurve crapping. it just makes my day. buahahas. try to befriend me and u'll be infected by this disease as soon as possible. cyg's already infected. hehe. eh. im a bug. not an insect. nor a virus. im a crapping bug. buahaha. see, i've started my nonsense and lameness. it cant be cured uh. so.. back to serious business. went bras basah complex yesterday with cyg. walau. the weather was lyke hell. so freaking hott and humid and wateva lar. took the train to city hall. stopped at i-forget-the-name shopping centre. went burger king to buy drink. now i knoe coke is the best thirst quencher. akhaa. bought a medium one and shared. WALKED under the hot sun all the way to the complex. not far la actually. but still i CAN MELT. cyg got frustrated as i keep on repeating the same phrase over and over again. 'Bleh cair sak ni mcm..' yups. haha! once we reached, went popular straight. i was DESPERATE in getting that sec 3 SS textbook. but my heart was pierced when i found out there's not even a single book left! gawd! lucky cyg was clever yesterday. hee. he brought me to the 2nd hand bookstore. and yups. there it is. lotsa book neatly arranged. i took the best one althoughall looked old. haha! and i got a shocked of my lyfe wen i ask 4 the price. guess how much? its only $1.50.. yess!! ONE DOLLAR AND FIFTY CENTS for a textbook. cool huh. so i told cyg to buy books at that store nxt year. haha. budgetkia sia. buahahas~ after that, proceed back to the MRT. on the way there, i told cyg things and he got mad. to vent his anger, he kicked MY LEG. hard! and i was lyke.. "eh babi. ape siak u?" buahaha. really! i said that out of frustration. and of course he said sorry and stuffs. and we're back to normal again. and we lived happily ever after.. =)
And soo..... i've got to go. i knoe. i knoe. my post today was lyke hanging rite? sorry darlings. mum's making noises oready. i've to siap to go out. im going suntec with family. weee`. cya people.. LURVE YOU!! take care aites? Mwahhhh!!
[acahsiaw]
I've been the happiest woman/girl/kid/aunty to have u by my side. Ur just EVERYTHING to me.. Throughout the 7mths we've been together, i managed to get sumtink into MY head/brain. that is.. to realise the true meaning of relationship and kesetiaan. i changed for the sake of u. ask fezah. rite bestie? =p im NOT who i used to be. although we may be quarrelling lyke EVERYDAY, i still love u ok? as what our favourite song quotes, 'My love for you will never end..' yups. thats true baby. I hope and wished this 7 months to last till eternity. till the day we're meant to be separated. the day of our deaths. its lovely to have someone lyke u. the way u talk, the way u console me when im in no mood and the way u care for me. its heaven. i've never regret accepting u as my
Kaulah segalanya..
Yang menyinar hidupku, kasih.
Hanya satu yang..
Yang ku cintai.
Well... stop those mushy2 stuffs. obviously, im happy. tomoro no skool huh? to me its a bore. why? because... its lyke, i've been absent for school for lotsa days. since friday. borin lar. school is a place for me to gain knowledge, to study and most IMPORTANT of all, a place for me to CRAP. i lurve crapping. it just makes my day. buahahas. try to befriend me and u'll be infected by this disease as soon as possible. cyg's already infected. hehe. eh. im a bug. not an insect. nor a virus. im a crapping bug. buahaha. see, i've started my nonsense and lameness. it cant be cured uh. so.. back to serious business. went bras basah complex yesterday with cyg. walau. the weather was lyke hell. so freaking hott and humid and wateva lar. took the train to city hall. stopped at i-forget-the-name shopping centre. went burger king to buy drink. now i knoe coke is the best thirst quencher. akhaa. bought a medium one and shared. WALKED under the hot sun all the way to the complex. not far la actually. but still i CAN MELT. cyg got frustrated as i keep on repeating the same phrase over and over again. 'Bleh cair sak ni mcm..' yups. haha! once we reached, went popular straight. i was DESPERATE in getting that sec 3 SS textbook. but my heart was pierced when i found out there's not even a single book left! gawd! lucky cyg was clever yesterday. hee. he brought me to the 2nd hand bookstore. and yups. there it is. lotsa book neatly arranged. i took the best one although
And soo..... i've got to go. i knoe. i knoe. my post today was lyke hanging rite? sorry darlings. mum's making noises oready. i've to siap to go out. im going suntec with family. weee`. cya people.. LURVE YOU!! take care aites? Mwahhhh!!
[acahsiaw]